I Trust You
by Ace Phantomhive
Summary: Mello and Matt are best friends, yet they have trust issues. As the story progresses, they learn to trust each other more and they become closer. But how close exactly?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I stood in my doorway, staring at my friend.

"What's that for?" I asked cautiously, staring at the spray paint can in his hand.

"You ready?" He tossed the can at me, not really answering my question, and pushed past me, entering the house. I shut the door and followed him.

"I'm not sure.." I hesitated, my conscious telling me this was _not _a good idea.

"C'mon Matt, take a chance for once. It'll be fun." He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a drink, not even bothering to ask permission. He was a familiar face; sometimes it seemed like he lived here, since he was so often at my place instead of his own.

"Mello, I'm not sure about this," I tried to protest, but with Mello, there's no such a thing as backing out. Not in any way, shape, or form.

"Nu-uh. Not even gonna discuss this. Now come on, we have to go right now! I can't be late at work again. It'd be the fourth time this week..." He muttered. He didn't seem to take his job as a bartender very seriously. "Besides, I really wanna get laid tonight. Now come on already." He put his drink down on the counter after one more big gulp. "Ooh! That shit burns my throat," he hissed and shook his head. He tossed the keys at me. With all the stuff Mello tends to toss at me during the day, my reflexes have gotten pretty good.

"You drive. I drank too much and you drive really smooth so I won't get sick." Of course, I was always everyone's chauffeur. I was a good driver, but I realized quickly that I should have kept my skills to myself.

Once we were seated in my black Lamborghini Veneno, I turned the keys to start the engine. I smiled to myself as the motor purred. I loved hearing that sound.

"Ahh, music to my ears." I thought to myself.

"So tell me again what _legal _job you have that allows you to buy a car like this?" Mello asked incredulously. No matter how close we were, I had never told Mello what I did for a living.

"I never _said _it was legal," I smirked. I loved messing with people.

"So, you're saying you have an illegal job?"

"I never said that either."

"Matt, I hate you. Have I ever told you that before?"

"Everyday mate, everyday." I grinned at the pissed off expression Mello gave me. I fixed my eyes back on the road.

"So, are you gonna play with me?" He asked.

"All the time, mate. All the time."

"Why are you saying everything twice?"

"Why not, eh? Why not?"

"You know, one of these days, I'll figure out if your job _requires _you to be so incessantly annoying.

"You'll never figure out what my job is." I told him flatly.

"You wanna bet?" He challenged.

"There is no way on Earth you could ever figure out my profession unless I chose to tell you." I said, trying to contain a smile. Mello was _so _naïve .

"What makes you so convinced?"

"Because _I_, unlike you, can keep secrets. Left?" I asked him, even though I knew the way by heart. I just wanted to change the topic.

"Yeah. Take a left. Then another left, then two more lefts, then a right, then a left, then two more rights, then a left, and we're there." He explained.

"Thanks Mello. Very helpful." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Was that sarcasm?" Mello asked.

"What do you think?" I retorted.

"I don't know. That's why I asked. But never mind." He was quiet until we arrived to our destination. He pulled the spray paint out of his bag and grinned at me childishly.

"Let's go!" he said, a maniacal laugh escaping from his lips as he shook the can. I laughed at his crazed expression.

"Yeah, yeah, calm down Satan," I chuckled and got out of the car, locking it behind me.

Mello looked around warily and when he was convinced nobody was around, he started spraying the walls of the house we stood in front of. I joined him. We finished after about forty minutes of careful concentration, making sure everything perfect in our masterpiece. In big, bold, neon green and blue graffiti letters, it said, "We are the Champions" Doing graffiti was actually one of my passions, even though I didn't look like the type of person to commit any type vandalism. But hey, looks can deceive.

"Matt?" Mello asked.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me. I really, truly do appreciate it." He slung an arm around my shoulders in a one-sided hug.

"No problem Mello. I'll always be here for you when you need me." I slung an arm around him as well.

"I have to go to work now. Come with me, I'll give you a free drink." Mello said. I couldn't decline such an offer, and nodded.

We made our way to the car. Unlocking the door, we slid onto the smooth leather seats.

"Matt?" Mello asked again after I'd been driving for a couple of minutes.

"What is it, Mello?" I responded.

"Do you trust me?"

"Um... I guess I do," I hesitated. I didn't know what to say, especially because I didn't know why he was asking the question.

"You _think _you do, but you don't _know _you do." His voice became melancholy. He sounded genuinely upset and disappointed.

"I mean, I _know _I do." I tried to amend my words, but the damage had been done.

"No you don't." He responded sadly.

"How would you know what goes on in my head?" I didn't know where Mello was going with this. Was he just looking for an argument?

"Because, Matt," his voice broke into my thoughts.

"Because why?" I pushed.

"Because we've known each other since we were young, stupid kids in that dumb orphanage. Neither of us have any family. Matt, I don't have anybody else and I know you don't either. The only thing we have is each other. Yet, you still hide basic stuff from me."

"Like what?" I came to the conclusion that Mello was just in a bad mood because he had work, and he had no one except me to argue with.

"Your name. Tell me your real name." He looked me straight in the eye with his own piercing blue ones.

"You never told me _yours_!" I retorted. And it was true. He never did tell me his birth name. "So your argument is invalid." I added. I felt like I had trapped him now, because he knew what I said wasn't a lie, but yet, he tried to argue with me about the same thing. I snapped back into focus when Mello started talking.

"Mihael Keehl. I was born in Russia. I'm around 75% Russian and 25% German. My father and mother died when I was very, very young and I do not have any other siblings or family. I speak Russian, German, and English. I was born on December 13, 1989. " His voice was soft and small as he told me all this.

I realized suddenly that this argument was different from any other we'd had before. I was so floored, I couldn't get any word out. He had just told me all of his personal information, and I hadn't even asked for it. Why would he do such a thing? Did he really trust me to that extent? I still was speechless when he said "Stop the car." I faintly nodded and complied. I was not mentally stable enough to drive.

"Are you okay?" Mello asked with concern. I nodded.

"Stop lying." He said with the most serious tone ever in his voice. I never heard Mello in my entire life talk to me in the manner he did tonight. "Also, I'm not looking for any argument. I just want to talk." He said softly. This was so unlike Mello, considering one of Mello's passions is to argue until he nearly makes you pull your own hair out.

He took my face in his hands. He stared straight into my eyes and didn't break eye contact at all. "Look, I don't expect you to tell me your real name, or your past or anything. I just want you to know that you're the only person I ever trusted and still trust and will always trust. I know I can confine in you with anything and everything and you won't ever tell any other soul. I just want you to know that and I think you had to hear that. That's all. Now let me drive." He changed the topic all of a sudden. I took the keys out of the ignition and handed him them. We changed seats and he started the car and drove away aggressively like we were in a car chase or something.

"Are you still coming to the bar?" Mello asked and gave me a quick look that I couldn't read for my life what it meant.

"Yes." Was all I said. Right now, I just wanted it to be silent in the car so I could get my thoughts straight in my head. Should I tell Mello my real name and my past and what I do for a living? Because he trusted me enough to tell me everything about him, so why shouldn't I be decent enough to return the favor. And he was right. He was everything to me. He meant the world to me, and I'd never want to jeopardize our relationship towards each other, by making him think that I didn't trust him. Before I knew it, Mello's crazy driving got us to the bar in less than 5 minutes.

"You were speeding," I pointed out the obvious.

"Do I seem like the type of guy to care?" He grinned at me.

"No," I laughed. We entered the bar, and everybody in the bar stopped and stared at Mello.

"Wow, popular much?" I asked. This was my first time coming to a bar with Mello.

"So and so." He said and walked his way towards behind the counter. He picked up a bottle and read the label on it. Then he plucked up 2 more. He opened them and mixed all three beverages together into a glass.

"Alright my dear, here you have some Jagger mixed with Red Bull and another secret ingredient that you will have to guess," He smiled at me playfully.

"Why thank you," I stared at his name-tag to play along. "Mello."

"Aw, no problem. Tell me if there's something specific you want, I have everything. Okay, I have to take care of these customers real quick, be right back Matt." He looked at me apologetically. I realized there were about twenty people that gathered within 1 minute, waiting for him. They all wanted to be served by Mello, even though there were two other bartenders working. I guessed Mello was just really popular. I looked over at him and heard random bits of chatting with the customers. He seemed so natural at it. He was telling jokes and everybody was laughing.

"What a faggot, huh?" A voice, next to me snapped me out of my daze.

"What'd you say?"

"Dude with the blonde hair." He said simply and stared right at Mello.

"What did you just call him?" I glared at the bastard.

"A faggot. Look at him! Wearing leather. Guy probably gets it in the ass multiple times a day. What a disgusting fag-" I acted without warning; I just couldn't take it any longer. Nobody was going to talk about Mello like that, so I did the only thing I could think of. I punched the moron straight in the face. His nose quickly started bleeding and he passed out on the floor. I don't know if it was because of how hard I punched him, or because of the level of alcohol in his bloodstream. Either way, I was more than happy to see this guy on the ground. The people Mello was serving let out cries of astonishment. Mello's head swiveled towards me while still trying to pour the drink into the glass. He looked at me for a split second and shook his head, cursing when the glass overflowed. He walked towards me and grabbed me by my collar. Hard.

"What the fuck Matt?!" He let out a loud squawk. Shit. Mello squawking. Not good.

"I swear, I can explain," I raised my hands in defense. He face-palmed himself and rolled his eyes.

"Common, I'm too tired to work tonight anyway and I just started my shift. I can't pull through the rest." He said, exhausted. He had seemed fine 2 minutes ago when he was laughing and joking around, but I wasn't going to question him. I wanted so desperately to get out of there. He turned around quickly and scanned the room as if trying to find someone or something.

"Hey Jessy!" He yelled really loudly. A girl with voluminous brown hair and a short red dress turned around and looked at Mello.

"Fill in for me?" He said, but it sounded more like a statement than a question. She nodded at him and he winked at her.

"Alright Matt. Let's go to your place. My place isn't as nice anyway," he said pulling me along. And with that, we left the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

Mello plopped down next to me on the couch once we were finally home. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"What was that all about?" He asked.

"What?" I asked, acting dumb.

"Matt, don't be stupid; that sigh!"

"I'm not even so sure myself," I responded, closing my eyes and trying to relax.

"Are you tired?" Mello asked. I opened my eyes and turned my head towards him, only to find a pair of blue puppy eyes looking back at me innocently.

"Not to the point where I can't do something with you. What do you want to do?" I asked him. Mello continued to look at me in that way he did when he wanted something but didn't want to say what it was.

"No, Matt, you need to sleep. I guess I'll just go back home," He said, and rose from the couch. I found myself grabbing his hand and pulling him back next to me. He froze.

"Stay," I pleaded.

"Matt…" Mello was speechless. I never do this type of crap, but I don't know what got into me tonight. I hugged him by the waist and cuddled up to him. He was my teddy bear. He stroked my hair gently. I looked up at him and smiled, and he gave me a confused look.

"What's up?" He asked, sounding kind of lost. He had no idea what was going on, but neither did I. I just went with my gut instinct.

"My name is Mail. It's spelled like mail, like what the mailman leaves in your mailbox, but it's said as mile. Like the distance. You understand?" I blurted it all out without thinking. He nodded slightly. "And I'm Irish. Yes, Irish people have red hair. Go figure."

He just smirked at me and said, "Your red hair smells like strawberries."

"Ha. ...Do you want to taste strawberries?" I asked and smirked back at him. He had no idea what I was talking about.

"But they're out of season…" Mello said innocently.

"Then taste this," I said. I leaned into Mello and kissed him. On the lips, so he could taste the strawberry taste of my lips. I kept my eyes open to see his reaction, and just like I thought, Mello went wide-eyed and blushed a deeper red than a tomato. He grabbed me by my shirt and deepened the kiss passionately, which I definitely did not expect. I pushed him closer to me by the small of his back and deepened in the kiss even more by grabbing his head in my palms.

"Mmm... Tastes so… _good_ Mail." Mello said smiling between breaths. My head shot back quickly when I heard him use my birth-given name.

"Did I do something wrong?" Mello asked, sounding worried.

"You… you called me Mail," I said, still astonished.

"Yes, that's your name, isn't it?" He sounded confused.

"I just told you, yes. Why would I lie to you Mello?" I asked him.

"I know you'd never lie to me. And my name is Mihael, so why you still call me Mello is beyond me."

"Because I'm so used to Mello," I confessed. "Wait, you want us to call each other by our real names?" I asked when I finally understood.

"Yes! Duh! You're so slow sometimes Mail, I swear." Mello, I mean Mihael teased me and clapped sarcastically.

"Well, I'm still sleepy so I'm going to bed," I found all of this very weird. The fact that I was so tired, even though I never get tired, and the fact that I just made out with my best friend was making my head spin. H-hold on a minute.. since when was Mello gay? Was I gay? I was too tired to analyze the situation, I just wanted to go to sleep.

"Alright," He said and yawned. I stood up and walked towards the door.

"You know, I have an extra toothbrush for you," I offered.

"Haha! I see. Does someone want me to sleep over tonight?" Mello gave me the huge grin.

"Maybe," I grinned back and took him by the waist to plant a small, sweet kiss on his oh-so-very soft lips. Did I really just describe his lips like that? Damn, I _must _be gay…

"Alright Matt, I will," Mello leaned against me, his head resting against my chest. So was I _Matt_ now? How confusing. I shook my head trying to get the thoughts out of my head.

"What's wrong Mail?" Oh no! Now he called me Mail and not Matt. Even more confusing! Gah!

"Nothing. C'mon, let's brush our teeth and go to bed," I said and grabbed his hand. We walked to the bathroom, and when we got there I handed him the new toothbrush.

"Toothpaste?" He asked sleepily. I blushed and handed him my toothpaste and mouthwash.

"Hahaha oh my god Mail what the fuck?! Strawberry toothpaste and mouthwash?" He asked between hysterical laughs. "Isn't this for little 5-year-old kids that gag when they try to brush their teeth with minty toothpaste?"

"You didn't seem to mind when you tasted them…" I said softly. I looked down at my shoes and started fiddling with my shirt.

"Aww Mail, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," He took a step towards me and hugged me. I hugged him back. He raised his head from my shoulder and gave me a kiss.

"Mmm.. You taste so good Mail.. God! Let's brush our teeth with this fantastic stuff!" He said after tasting me one more time.

"Alright" I chuckled amused. We finished brushing our teeth simultaneously and I threw the toothbrush on the counter. Yes, I realize, I tend to throw things on counters a lot. I'm too lazy to actually place them back nicely and neatly after using the objects. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Wow! My pupils were gigantic! The size of two black olives. You couldn't even see the iris part of my eyes. Just two, huge black holes.

"Dude! Mello! My eyes, look at them!" I pointed them out to him in panic.

"What's wrong with them? I love them! They're sexy" He said seductively in a low voice and rubbed my back putting his hand under my shirt. It felt so god! He kept tugging at my shirt.

"Mello, what do you want?!" I asked impatiently after the tugging wouldn't stop.

"For you to take the damn shirt off. I want to fuck you!" He said quickly.

"You're gay?" I voiced my earlier thoughts.

"Of course I am dipshit! Always was, always will be!" He laughed.

"Oh.." I was shocked. Am I gay too? I wondered to myself.

"Okay, if you're not gonna take the shirt off then I will personally." And I couldn't even argue with him against it, because in a matter of seconds I found myself standing shirtless, in the middle of the bathroom. Mello threw my shirt aside and started feeling my bare chest and back. His hands were magic, tracing my muscles and making me shudder. He had this look in his eyes that screamed "Fuck me now."

"Mello.." I looked at him trying to find the right words to say.

"Shh, Mail don't say anything, just go with it." He said while tracing my jaw line. That was it! I couldn't help myself anymore! I smashed my lips against his and he started unbuckling his tight leather pants while I took his vest off. He slipped my jeans off while still making out with me vigorously, and I kept pushing him lightly towards my bedroom until he fell on my bed. I smirked down at the sight of Mello lying down on my bed just with his boxers on, and me on top of him.

"Mattyy" He whined like a child and pulled me down closer to him. "Can we do this already?!" He whined impatiently even more and I smirked at the bulge in his boxers. "Please?" He looked at me desperately.

"Anything for you baby," My hands went down all the way to his boxers and I stopped there playfully.

"Mail! Common already! Take the fucking boxers off I can't wait anymore!" This was painful for him.

"Aww, you don't like foreplay?" I teased.

"Not right now just fucking fuck me already!" He ripped my boxers off of me and spanked me real hard.

"Mihael! You wild child!" I yelled and squeezed his bulge in my hand. Then I took his boxers off slowly, giving him a glance from time to time, to see his face expression. It was a mix between pure annoyance and ecstasy. Then I stroked his dick in my hands slowly and lightly.

"Mail, faster! Harder!" Mihael panted.

"You're so beautiful when you're horny, you know that?" I asked him and I meant it. I stroked his dick faster and harder and he came pretty fast. The sticky liquid landed on my chest and abs.

"Your turn now!" He smiled at me childishly, but it had a devilish feel to it. He started stroking my manhood when I blurted out of the blue

"I want to feel you inside of me Mello!" And a pair of shocked blue eyes stared back into my own shocked now black eyes.

"Really?" He asked surprised.

"Mhm" I didn't manage to say anything, still speechless from my statement before.

"Yay!" He clapped his hands and flipped me over. He licked his fingers.

"No need for preparation" I don't know what was wrong with me, I felt way too daring tonight for my taste.

"Are you kidding me?!" Mello's face was of pure shock and his jaw dropped. "Matt, are you a virgin or not anymore?" He asked.

"I'm not a virgin are you kidding me?!" I was kind of offended he thought I still was one.

"I don't wanna hurt you Matty…" Mello pouted, definitely not pleased with me.

"You won't, just come on already!" I found myself being the impatient one this time.

"Okay…Matty.." Mello seemed unsure of himself and the situation. "One.." he started counting "Two.." he took a deep breath and asked quickly "Are you sure this is a good idea Matty?"

"Yes! Now do it!" I yelled back.

"Three!" And he penetrated me. My eyes just widened about twice their actual size, thank god Mello couldn't see my face. He moved his warm hands from my upper back all the way to my lower back and grabbed my hips.

"How do you feel? Are you alright?" Mello asked me, worry flooded his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine" I said in a monotonous tone of voice.

"Matt, I knew I would hurt you! See what you made me do to you!" He screamed.

"Mello, would you fuck me already and quit complaining?" I asked to make him shut up.

"Okay…" He didn't know how else he should respond to my command. So he started moving his hips in and out, and it took him a few times until he found the sweet spot, but once he found it, I couldn't stop my moaning.

"Mmmh Baby, you sound so hot" Mello whispered in my ear from behind me and started sucking lightly on the side of my neck, which turned me on even more, if that was even possible.

"Mello!" I screamed as he clawed his fingernails into my back and moved his hips so fast and hard into me, that I thought I'd go insane. The good type of insane, not the bad kind.

"God! Mail! You're so goddamn sexy, it should be forbidden!" Mello murmured as I moaned really loudly and came to my high with his lasts thrusts. He came right after me for the second time tonight. I sighed heavily and layed in bed closing my eyes to fall asleep when Mello's voice interrupted the silence.

"Soo, Mail…can you tell me what you work as now? You seem to trust me enough now, don't you?" Mello asked. I was hesitant to answer him, maybe I should have kept pretending to be asleep, but how can he believe I was asleep after only 1 to 2 minutes.

"Mello…" I sucked in a deep breath. He crawled on top of me.

"Common baby, tell me" He tempted me with a hot kiss.

"Mello…I can't." I said to him and a wave of disappointment flooded his face.

"Oh…" He simply said and rested his head on my chest. "I love you" He snuggled up even closer to me, hugging my neck.

"I love" I murmured lowly into his ear but stopped myself mid sentence. For some reason I couldn't return the words. A dark silence fell over both of us and my breathing became heavier and more regular. My eyelids started feeling heavy, and I let sleep drift over me.

"Mail" I heard a familiar voice. "Mail" The same voice repeated, shaking me lightly.

"Oh snap! What is it?! Where am I?!" My head shot up and I was surprised to find myself naked in my bed, Mello next to me. Naked too.

"Hi! It's morning sleepyhead! Wake up" He gave me a warm smile. I did not remember anything from last night, no matter how hard I tried to.

"How..how did I get here?" I asked surprised sitting up.

"You don't remember last night?" Mello asked as if something important happened.

"No..should I? How come I don't remember anything? What happened?" I asked, my head pounding like crazy. Did I get drunk?

"Oh, nothing special…we just..hung out" Mello smiled at me again. Why was he smiling at me so much? He never usually was this nice.

"Why the hell am I naked?! Wait, no! The better question is why the hell are you in my bed, laying next to me naked?!" I started freaking out.

"Chill chill, nothing happened" He raised his hands up in defense.

"Are you sure?" I asked dubiously.

"Yes, yes. I'm sure. You think I wouldn't remember what happened last night? Well, I remembered everything that happened, and nothing special happened. We just watched TV and that's pretty much all, now quit questioning!" He was getting too self defensive over something so petty.

"Okay..if you say so.." I shrugged still having my doubts. It's just not normal to wake up in the morning naked with your best friend naked too right next to you and not being able to remember anything. I stood up and ran to the bathroom, closing the door after me. I wave of nausea overcame me and I threw up in the toilet.

"Ugh!" I groaned really loudly.

"Mail, are you okay?! Oh my god what's wrong! Mail! Open this door right now!" Mello's fists pounded on the bathroom door. I was speechless of shock. How does he know my real name? I never told him. I'm completely sure of the fact I have never revealed my real name to him, and here he was calling me Mail.

"You called me Mail! How the fuck do you know my real name Mello?!" I shouted at him through the door.

"Mail, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. That you're sick now. I'm so sorry" He started sobbing. I swung the door open and came face to face with him.

"What exactly do you mean your fault? Mello, what happened yesterday, what did you do?" I looked at him with ice cold eyes. I knew he lied to me earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

I got impatient after he cried his eyes out for about 15 minutes and it didn't seem that he was going to stop anytime soon.

"Spit it out!" I yelled at him and balled my hand up into a fist. I felt like I was going to beat him up into a bloody pulp.

"I..I..I..I..I.." He kept stuttering this same word over again and I tensed up even more.

"You?!" I tried to get him to just say it already. I don't know if normally I would've been so impatient with him, but this horrendous headache wasn't doing me a favor.

"You did what?" I asked him again after he still wouldn't speak. His crying just persisted.

"Mail…" He managed to whisper between frantic sobs.

"Mihael, how do you know my real name?" If he is going to call me by my real name, then I am going to return the favor.

"Promise me you'll still be my friend after I tell you what really happened last night?" Mello asked hopeful when he finally calmed down a little bit.

"Fine!" I probably would've agreed to anything just to make this dude talk.

"I drugged you and we fucked!" He spat all this out in what seemed like a millisecond and then took two steps back and just stood there and stared at me. I didn't know how to respond to his confession so I just stared back at him flabbergasted for a _long _time.

"Are you serious?" I knew that his statement was serious, but I didn't know what else to ask him instead. His head dropped and he nodded at me. That's when he started crying again.

"But why Mello? Why?" This is when things started sinking in for me and I have just realized what he really said. He shrugged and shook his head slowly. All of a sudden he stopped crying altogether and fixed his icy eyes on mine.

Then it dawned on me.

"Mello, that secret ingredient when you made my drink at the bar. That was the drug, or?" I asked. He nodded his head. I could tell this was hard for him to talk about and he was feeling very regretful, but I had to know! I mean, I was the one drugged!

"But, I really don't understand why you would do such a thing. What was your reasoning behind this?" I felt calmer now, my headache fading away slowly.

"I wanted to find out the truth about you. Because you wouldn't tell me sober, so my only way of finding out who you really are was through drugging you. I am so sorry Mail." Panic started kicking in when I realized that I might've told him last night what I actually do for a living. And that's also when I realized something else!

"You said we fucked?" I looked directly into his eyes, not letting the eye contact break between us.

"Yeah" I could've sworn I saw Mello blush. This was something I have never seen before.

"Was I good?" I smirked at him and his face turned the color of a tomato.

"You were incredible" He smiled at me.

"Did I take bottom?" I asked. This question was answered shortly, because I could feel the soreness in my ass. Damn! Mello took my virginity away! Was this right? I mean, I am just so confused. I thought I was into girls? I counted all of my exes. 0! I never really thought about sexuality until now. What kind of man am I?! Aren't man supposed to be thinking about sex 24\7?

"I didn't know you're gay.." I stated but it came out sounding more like a question.

"Here we go again!" Mello sighed, rolled his eyes and plumped down on the couch.

"Wait, what?" I asked stupidly taking a seat next to him.

"We had this conversation last night already!" Mello huffed.

"Oh well I am sorry I can't remember what we talked about last night!" I spat sarcastically and jumped up from my seat.

"Matt...I didn't…" Mello was in pure distress trying to calm me down because he clearly saw how agitated I was getting again.

"What is it?! You didn't mean to drug me last night and fuck me, it just sort of accidentally happened, huh?!" I yelled at him loudly. I could feel my headache coming back, my heartbeat getting faster and faster. I could feel all my blood rushing towards my head, each pump getting stronger and more painful.

"Matt, I feel so bad about all this you can't even imagine. I'm so incredibly sorry." His apology didn't matter to me. I didn't care at the least about hearing anything he had to say.

"Well, guess what? I feel bad too. I feel very bad thanks to you!" I shouted while rushing to the bathroom and vomiting again. He petted my back and kept apologizing and I got so tired of hearing his stupid voice after a while.

"Mello, with no respect at all whatsoever, get the fuck out of my house! Now!" I faced away from the toilet bowl to look at him, so he'd take me serious, but of course he had to ask like a moron.

"Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm joking with you?" I asked him grim-faced.

"Matt, I don't want things to be this way! I'm sorr-" He tried apologizing again, but I wouldn't have any of this.

"Mello, I'm done with you! Now get the fuck out of here! Fuck you, leave me alone!" I couldn't get my point across through his thick, stubborn, ignorant skull.

"Matt, you promised me you wouldn't end our friendship, before I told you what happened. So how dare you do this?!" When I heard this, I ignored my sickness and got up to rinse my mouth and brush my teeth. Mello wouldn't stop staring at me and I got fed up. I took my fist, and smashed it as hard as I could into his face. His blood spilt onto my light colored carpet immediately, staining it. I pouted at the sight of my expensive carpet ruined.

"Dammit Mello! Look at what you did!" I flipped out.

"Me?! Look at what _I _did?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He looked daggers at me with a combination of pure shock. I have never permitted myself to hit him before.

"I'm done with you Mello! Leave. Now." I wanted him gone, and I wanted him gone right now. I couldn't look at him for one more minute, or hear his voice for any longer, because I was sure I would lose the little self control I had left and sent him into a hospital with a coma. So the boy finally smartened up and made his way towards the front door.

"You can't do this Matt." Mello turned around in the doorway to face me one more time.

"Oh yeah? Watch me!" And with that, I slammed the door in his face.

I made my way towards the refrigerator to get out an ice pack. How nice and cool it felt when I pressed it against my throbbing temples.

"Ahh" I let out a relaxing sigh as I sat down at my desk and started surfing the interwebs. I was in my own little world as I was playing my computer games. The phone started ringing all of a sudden, as I was in the middle of a very important, special tournament.

"Ughhh! Goddammit!" I cursed out loud, obviously annoyed to no end by the interruption. I checked my own cell phone, but it didn't show it was ringing or any missed calls. I checked the home phone too, but the ringing didn't come from there either. So which other phone could it be? I only had my cell and home phone. I waited for it to ring again, but it didn't.

So I returned back to my match. My team was in critical condition, and I had come back just in time to save everybody. And then this damned ringing started again. I went insane. Because of me, my whole team was going to lose now; because for some inexplicable reason, I was unable to just ignore the repeating sound of that annoying phone. It's like a fly, buzzing around your head in the middle of the night. No matter how tired you are, you're going to get up from bed, turn the lights on, even if it stings your eyes at first, and kill that motherfucking fly.

I turned the audio of the game to mute and stayed silent for a few seconds to find out where the ringing came from. Finally, I detected it coming from the bedroom I usually slept in. The ringing had stopped at that point, but I continued to search hungrily for a phone in the room. I looked in all my drawers, in my closet, in the bathroom connected to the room, and still no luck. Then, fortunately, it began ringing again, and I could track the sound down and know exactly from where it came. I threw the bed sheets on the floor, and there it was! Mello's phone ringing like a crazy lunatic.

For a second, I thought about throwing it against a wall and completely destroying it, but something told me not to do it. So I didn't. I just turned it off, so it wouldn't disturb me any further.

I knew Mello would want his phone back at one point or another. Would he realize he left it at my house? Would he come back for it? Would I even open my door for him, if he ever came back? Why I am even thinking of these questions all related to him. I said I never wanted to hear his voice or see him again. This includes wanting to erase him from my mind. I wanted to erase him from my life altogether.

Am I in the wrong here?

Am I overreacting?

He claimed to be my best friend for so many years and now he betrays me like this?! What the shit?! I can't just get over it like that, or act like nothing ever happened.

I went back down to my refrigerator because I realized the icepack wasn't doing the trick anymore. I tossed it back into the freezer, and took out a bottle of vodka and one bottle of rum and set them on the table. I searched desperately for a shot glass and found one in the uppermost shelf of my cupboard. All this thinking is making my head hurt again, so at least if my head is gonna hurt, it should be from a hangover.

So I lost count at 7 shots of vodka and 5 shots of rum. I know I drank way past that amount, but when you keep drinking and drinking you don't count your amount of intake. I mean, who does that? At one point, the whole world was spinning around me, and I couldn't fix my eyes on one spot, to save my life. I tried to stand up, and failed miserable, ending up sprawled all over the floor. The fact that I didn't eat a single thing today and I can't remember if I ate anything yesterday didn't help. The effect of alcohol on an empty stomach intensifies.

I just laid there on the ground. Limp. Lifeless. Without a purpose, now that I did not have a best friend anymore.

I even listened to why he did what he did, and it's just too disappointing. All this coming from Mello, hurt too much. I didn't care if it came from any other person as much, but this is Mello we're talking about here. This is, well was my best friend ever since I can remember.

This is the guy that has always been there for me, no matter what.

This is the only person I could trust on this entire planet, and the feeling was mutual. I was also the only one he trusted.

This was the only person I have ever been close to.

And most of all, he was the only one I _loved._ Genuinely, loved.

Whoaahh! What?! Did I really just say I love Mello?

I found myself thinking what kind of love I felt towards him. Was it brotherly, or friendly, or I will regret saying this, was I feeling a kind of love only a Lover would feel towards somebody? I can't fucking be _in_ love with Mello. I can love him. But not be _in _love with him. There is a tremendous difference.


End file.
